Fragile or broken?…

Walking along a path this past week- I saw this. It described exactly how I’d been feeling lately. I realized in that moment that my deep life’s mission is to help other hurting women. Oswald Chambers said it beautifully…”Mans dust is his glory…not his shame”. Rest in the one who created you. He will cover you with his feathers.💗

Morning Walks….

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…But ask the animals, & they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. (Bible)

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Taken this morning on my walk…. A beautiful time.

Old Man Joy…

Old Man Joy…

Just passing by,….(literally) – through the doors of a diner yesterday, my husband and I had the chance encounter with this man I’ll call “Joy”. A disabled Vet living in a tent for years and was the happiest he had … Continue reading

The Life We Miss…

I saw him sitting there…bundled like a well-wrapped package. Only this package was not pleasing to look at. In fact, it was down right hard.
I watched as others looked at him too. I was not the only one thinking how different he was. He was not one of “us”. Clean & shaven, well dressed and …well rehearsed.
I tried to imagine what had made him that way…Bad life? Alcohol? Laziness?
Wrapped in torn clothes & dirt. Nothing he owned was close to new. They were filthy rags but he was ready for the coming cold.
He ate a little and then went back in for more….Hot soup & coffee. Appropriate, I thought, since he will be trying to stay warm later.

A voice or “thought” kept coming to me during this quick “evaluation” I was making. “That $20 in your left pocket, give it to him”. Yes, Lord! I thought Great idea! He could probably use it.
Then it started. One by one, all the reasons I shouldn’t. The first one being “That’s a lot of money. We really need it”. What if…what if..
Now, I sat condemned. Sitting before my food with thoughts of how the morning had gone. Spending here and there on things that I “wanted”, not needed.
Now before me was black & white. What really mattered. Funny, someone just said the other day…Giving & generosity are a choice.
So I sat. Doing nothing. Frozen. Holding fast to that twenty dollars. Rationalizing it in my mind. A choice. (Oh, how powerful we think we are sometimes). Life is more than what we try to hold on to.
Then it happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a man walk by him. He had given him something?
Had he given him money? Just like I was going to do…or rather not. I looked back at the bundled man eating his hot soup. He had a look of pleasant disbelief on his face. I glanced downward and saw a folded bill in his hand.
Then the part that overcame me took place. This bundled & torn person, the one everyone politely stared at, closed his eyes, looked towards heaven and whispered “Thank you Lord”.
I couldn’t watch anymore. I could hardly eat. A big lump in my throat was now there. My husband had no clue what had happened, but I felt like “life” had just shown it’s face to me.
It wasn’t about having fun, decorating my house etc. I’m not even sure what it’s really about. I just know it’s not about that. Me, my excuses, my money. It’s always about me….trying to play the part.
And then there’s him. Who has absolutely nothing except the one thing that does matter….God.
May your holidays be about “life” and not the “things”.

James 2:5 Dear Brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith…”

I wonder as I wonder….

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I drew this picture a while back.
I titled it after the Christmas song I keep hearing on the radio “I wonder as I wander…” (beautiful song)
The song plays in my head when I look at this picture. Not only because of the “wonderment” in this child’s face but also because that is my very question..
“I wonder as I wander”….
When I do a drawing (and it is seldom that I do),…it is usually when deep down in my spirit, I know I have to.
This has happened several occasions. If someone “asks” me to draw their loved one, I usually cannot do it. It does not flow. It has to come from within. It is only then that it flows.
Like this picture, I look back even though it’s been years, and I wonder…, “how” did I do that”?
It just never seems that it came from me…and it didn’t. It was Gods spirit moving my hands. I am too nervous and lack such confidence.
It is him that gives us these gifts. He uses the foolish to profound the wise.
To me this is how you know when something is God. When all you can do is simply look in amazement, no words,…just wonderment.
Merry, Merry Christmas!! Xo

The Versatile Blogger Award!

Yay!!
I am so very honored that katebortell nominated my blog for The Versatile Blogger Award!
I am so thrilled that the photos I love to take are being enjoyed by others!
I hope to have my nominations of others bloggers soon and will definitely inform them!
Until then thank you again katebortell ~ I am so glad to have met you. PS…If you haven’t visited her page, check it out! She’s a great writer! 🙂
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Here are my 7 “Interesting” Things About Me…
(part of the criteria for accepting this award!)

1. I became an alcoholic & was very lost in my young life…
2. If it wasn’t for the grace of God, there is no telling what my life would be like today.
3. I have been married almost 27 yrs. 2 children. One just married. The other in college.
4. I will take a quiet walk in the woods over the mall any day!
5.I Lived in England as a child. I still have some English in me. 🙂
6. I have always secretly wanted to write a book or be a motivational speaker…(and also have a live-in cook!)
7. The last 5-6 years has been a huge lesson for me in letting go & trusting God. It’s so simple, yet so hard for us to believe. I just read this week in “On Christian Liberty”- by Martin Luther (1500’s)- That the highest form of praise is trust! That blew me away. All my life, I have never trusted “man”. And he said that the highest form of “contempt” of man (or God) is suspicion, non-trusthworthy….Wow.
That’s all I’ve ever done. Never trusted God.
Eye opening experience.
God Bless you today! Thank you for reading. xoxoxo Blessings galore!

Lady at the Post Office…

lady at post office

Do you see her? Tiny little figure walking in the road? It is an old woman. She is a regular around here. She walks everywhere. She must be in her 80’s. I see her near & far. She is such an inspiration to me. She wears layers of clothes (kinda like my grandmother did). They don’t really match. She walks with a rolling walker. She just keeps on going. She must be out all day. She puts the rest of us to shame. I would do it if I was brave enough but alas, I am not.
Nor do I have the time.
One day, my husband said she had a matching outfit of pink on and make up to match (bright pink lipstick). He was happy for her because it seemed she was celebrating something special. Maybe it was her birthday?
Personally, I think she knows something the rest of us don’t.
This day in particular, I had the privilege of coming out of the post office when she was coming in. Of course I held the door…
But it was I who was blessed…
She with her snow white hair and tan leathered face smiled at me as she sincerely & sweetly proclaimed God’s blessings on me.
(my heart overfloweth..)

Then she walked away. I had to get a picture of that love.
Yes, in human form beneath all the outward appearances. That is why I took the picture. To remind me of her and that brief encounter.
Yes, it is that simple. It is IN the simple. It is in the least expected. That person, place or thing that you think doesn’t matter. To God, to all matters. He doesn’t make anything that doesn’t. From the tiniest to the largest.

I myself am having to learn this the hard way. Lord, take the blinders off us all.
xo Have a blessed day.

Good Design…

Building design..Asheville

Building design..Asheville

I believe people are inherently good.
I don’t think we start out mean. I think most people want good, for themselves and others.
When I am out and about during my day, I notice that we are all concerned about the same things.

I am quite a sensitive person. Growing up, I lived in a very “fear filled” home. Loving, but fear filled.
I learned how to be a people pleaser. That means,..you are constantly looking out for what the other person needs or wants~(Quite an exhausting way to live really!). So….when I am out in public, I am always watching to make sure I am not in anyone’s way, whether it is in traffic or at a store etc.
The thing I realized recently though, is… that everyone else is doing the same thing!
Maybe not every single person, but the majority.
And the majority, if there is something wrong, will go to that extra step to help!
And like Mr. Rogers always said…”That gives me a good feeling! 🙂
We all want to fill like we are valuable and worthwhile. That we have something to offer.
This may sound petty to some people. That’s ok.
We were all made by the same creator (at least that’s what I believe) and we all have the same capabilities to love. It’s just a choice.

What a grand design! xo
(Thanks for reading! 🙂

What does it mean to be Long Suffering…..

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Christ is “long suffering”.  I am not.

My husband said “Thank you” to me last night for being long suffering for him to come to God.  I was somewhat speechless.  Do you actually take credit for something like that?  Did I actually do something?

Long suffering to me is that complete yearning in your soul for something that burns day and night in “want”.  I am not talking about a “want” for a material thing, or even the “want” for a person.  I mean a desire to see something happen in someones life.  That to me is “long suffering”.

For many years have been praying and “desiring” good for our grown daughter.  Not material goods.  Just happiness.  Just health,….at a level that “functions” in life. That can smile, that feels worthwhile to live.  Many times more, our hearts have broken for her.

Our prayers were just answered this past week as we watched her get married.

The battle is not over.  (It’s really never over here on this earth).  Let’s just be honest. 
Here’s the deal though….God does things in HIS time….in HIS way.

I think the older you get the more you realize, you really never had control of anything and really….that’s a very freeing place to be….not in control.  God is.

So today, I write to you out there.  If you are struggling to hang on.  If you are tired.  It’s ok.  You never really had control.  Relinquish the reigns.  Unclench your fingers around that whatever you are holding on to.  Give it up.  God can work then.

Just keep praying.  Whether you believe or not.  Half the time (ok, most), I don’t know who or what I am really praying to.  Half the time I don’t believe…..

Except now.  Looking back.  4 months ago, I would have never imagined.  My daughter is married to a wonderful young man who loves her and wants to take care of her.  Who financially has the means.  She now has a new family who love her just as much as I do.

Long suffering…..”your heart breaking over that desire you wish for so desperately for that loved one or yourself”.

Christ,  was that model.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.  xo  Becky